I had my 24 week appointment last week. I remember before leaving home asking myself: 'Why go, if I just wait for an hour for them to measure my belly and hear the heartbeat?'. Well, apparently because doctors forget to call and inform you the results of your 20 month ultrasound appointment. Of coarse, the doctor at my 20 week appointment said they would call me with the ultrasound results. They never did and at my 24 week appointment I was told I had placenta previa and that there is fluid around the baby's kidneys. They put me on pelvic rest and said the specialist would call me to make an appointment. I left with more questions than answers. I called back but they told me to wait until my specialist appointment to ask my questions. So, yes, I googled and of coarse I haven't slept in days. The possibilities range from 'things will clear themselves up' to 'life threatening for both myself and the baby'.
I therefore reached out to anyone who would listen and so did my husband. So, let me clarify out of 20 people asked about placenta previa these are the stories I have heard:
1. C-section and early delivery
2. C-section and full term baby
3. Problem resolved itself
4. Mother confined to hospital bed for 2 months
5. Mother didn't survive
Yeah, a full range of answers all of which leave me at the same emotional state. I have stayed awake thinking the main topics.
1. If something happens to me who will raise my children?
2. Why am I seeing a specialist, is it so bad the doctor can't help me?
3. What if I start bleeding and I don't know it?
4. What if the baby is sick and needs to be in the hospital with potential life threatening health risks?
5. Should I even buy anything for the baby, what if something happens to us?
6. C-section and recovery, who in the world is going to help me?
7. Who am I suppose to count on?
8. What do I need to do to decrease bleeding risks?
I'm pretty sure you're thinking to yourself 'Aren't you married?'. Yes, I am but my husband has never been the suportive kind. He's more the: figure it out, I have to go to work in the morning, kind of person. He also has a life commitment where he has to visit his grandmother twice a week and even if I was sick, he would probably still leave me to go see his grandmother. So, my husband is the last person I ever felt I could count on. I also think should something happen to me, he would hand my children to his grandmother to raise. I know, you're wondering 'why did you marry this guy?'. I was pregnant when we got married and I needed the health care. Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage and it was just the way things happened. Our marriage does work but saying 'it's complicated' is the clearest explanation. Well, to my surprise my husband informed me that should I need to be in bed rest the last 3 months of my pregnancy he could take personal leave from work to help with my son. I have to admit, my jaw dropped with surprise that he even took the initiative to go to HR. He could also take his accumulated vacation for after delivery, should I have a c-section. Okay, so I have to be honest and ask myself how much will he actually help me? How long will it take for him to completely loose all patience with my toddler? And how much grandma time is he hoping to increase every week by? While the thought of him actually 'caring' is touching, I would have to see it to believe it. Yes, he has been helpful around the house but its limited help. Its like he knows what needs to be done, but he'd rather leave it and see if it resolves itself. Yeah, the dirty laundry will jump right into the washer and dryer. We've been married for almost 5 years and for the first time I think he actually does care about me, that's always good news. I've always thought he resented me for not letting him sit on the couch and play video games for the rest of his life. Life is funny, you need bad news to make you realize that someone does care about you.
Back to placenta previa, my husband and I did agree that regardless of good or bad news, I needed to take it easier. I think one of my main concerns was that if they knew I had placenta previa since I was 20 weeks pregnant why wait until my 24 week appointment to tell me? Do they know the things I've done in those four week?
1. Pool party
2. The beach
3. Trampoline park play dates
4. Play gym play dates
5. Gymnastics class and free play
6. 2 mile walks every day
8. Cleaning (sometimes I cleaned my house floors 3-5 times a day)
9. Garage cleaning and organizing in 100 degree weather
11. And so much more!!!
So, yes, I have been ridiculously active. Now, I'm at home all day, not driving anywhere in case something happens. I am scared, I worry about bad news and wishing for good news. Wondering 'how can I prepare this house should I need to go on bed rest or hospital stay?'. My child, the love of my life, how can I even be apart from him? All I can do is wait and hope for the best.
Have I had any symptoms at all that have made me worry? Yes and No, I don't know if this is even related to placenta previa but I did notice that on active days I had sharp stabbing pains in my ovaries. After my walks I would feel a lot of lower pressure. I complained to my husband that it felt like the baby was trying to push her way out. He said I complained about it in my son's pregnancy too. So, I stopped worrying about it. I do feel better staying at home, no sharp pains in my ovaries and no lower abdomen aches. I did call my doctor at 23 concerned about the sharp pains in my ovaries but since the pain went away they didn't really seem to care.
So, what are my days like at home? boring with a hint of potty training excitement. I can't clean which is the worse since I think I'm nesting. Let's see what news the month of October brings.